There are two things I need to share today. Both of them are equal in importance.
The first is a desire that I have had for some time, and this blog is an attempt to follow through on that pull. I am striving to be a more transparent person, one who opens up to share what all God has done in my life. Being a "very private" person, this is a large challenge for me.
The next point is a direct result of the first point. I am sharing a private moment that occurred yesterday as I wrote my Wednesday blog. (spoiler - transparency about to take place.)
I was sharing the need for all of us to be "battle ready" and ready to face the enemy whenever he comes and thrusts that "buttstrike" hit. In the midst of that challenge, WHAM!
I was hit hard. I was searching for some true video footage of Marine pugil stick exchange with the most pressing goal to find one that had no language. In the process, some unacceptable words were coming out of the speakers in my previewing and editing. My hubby did not know what I was doing, and there was a brief exchange of comments meant to clear up the situation. I was offended!! He had been offended!! The roaring lion was out to DEVOUR!
Let me remind you of what I was (writing to myself!!!!) in this most public journal of mine.
"This I know. When Satan comes my way, and he will, I want to be ready. I don't want to be caught off-guard. I KNOW that if ...I have met with my instructor and listened to His words, if... I have prepared with my trainer and applied those words to my heart each and every morning....afresh...I am going to be ready. Fully trained, yet fully dependent on the ONE who is standing with me, reinforcing in my heart and mind all that I have in HIM."
Now let me fill you in on another confession I need to make. I slept in 'til 8 yesterday! I did not get up early to have quiet solo time with my Lord FIRST, and then get my blog post done. I was doing my blog post first, and then going to move to my time with the Lord. THERE WAS A TESTING TAKING PLACE - IN MY FACE - RIGHT THERE, RIGHT THEN - and I was struggling.
I am glad in my heart to say that there was one victory in that I did not verbally unload a barrage of self-centered and defensive words on my soulmate.
But in my spirit, a battle took place. I was defending myself with him in my thought-life. Afterwards, when the smoke had cleared and the small battle within myself was over, I realized what the enemy had done. He had quietly crept in and thrown a smoke bomb into our little bunker. It caused confusion between my husband and myself. The ensuing smoke cloaked Satan and rather than opposing the true enemy, we were duking it out with each other!!! We were fighting the wrong side! And I feel sure, that deceiving thief of joy and peace was just standing out on the perimeter cackling as we finished the job for him.
To any of my sisters who may read this blog today. Please take this thought away from here.
Remember this! Whenever you are having an unhappy exchange with your husband; disagreeing with the one who is your BEST battle partner, - you are targeting the wrong enemy! Your husband is not the enemy. He is just the one that Satan would use to push your buttons exactly in the place that it will offend the most!!
Always pursue the wisdom and alertness you need from that "fresh" daily time with your Commander-In-Chief before you do anything else. It will help your discernment to visualize the true enemy through the smoke screen he will place in your field of vision.
And finally, let me share the words that God laid out before me as I went and spent time with Him after this skirmish took place. I am in I Chronicles on my journey through the Old Testament. King David is instructing his son Solomon as he steps up to take David's place.
"Solomon, get to know the God of your fathers. Worship and serve Him with a clean heart and a willing mind, for the Lord sees every heart and understands and knows every thought. If you seek Him, you will find Him..." (28:9)
I felt the sting of that one in my soul. I may not have audibly attacked my loving husband, but I sure did do battle in my thoughts...and God heard it all. I needed to clean out my heart and my mind and go apologize to my most precious partner and battle buddy.
God is an amazing God. In the midst of a book in His Word about the Temple, duties of the workers, lists of inventory in the Temple, there was that one very specific passage where a King addressed his son about the importance of seeking out the Lord, and keeping his heart and mind stayed on HIM. Right there...waiting for me... at the very time it would pierce my heart and speak volumes at the time I needed it most. Can I repeat this?....Our God is an amazing God. He is intimately involved in our lives.
Transparency completed! :-) I hope that my lesson is a reminder or a fresh insight to you that it is vital to go to our Lord FIRST! Then we will not have confusion about the battles that will come our way. We will target the Real Enemy and have victory in our walk and in our mind. And the ones who are closest to us will not suffer.
Let the Word of God speak to you. Know that God is in this world with us. Rest in Him.