I shared about the new revelations that were revealed to me concerning being the kind of wife my husband needs. It is something I cannot leave behind yet. I feel compelled to share just one more post about what it meant to me in order to bring some closure and completion to my readers. Maybe a bit more inspiration or enlightenment to motivate any of my readers to look at the source.
I know that my heart has always pursued being the best wife I could be for Kurt. I have always believed that I was his "Eve;" that God had shaped and formed me in my upbringing in my particular family to be the one and only complimenter and completer for Kurt. I have always strived to read and learn as much as possible to be a godly Proverbs 31 woman and a wife that Kurt would value "far above rubies."
Yet I have always felt the lacking. I have not been able to attain that assurance that I was all that he needed me to be. I was clueless. The light bulbs were there.....I just could not turn them on. I felt like I was circling in a room where there were 6 light switches on the wall, and I had only ever been able to get 3 or 4 switched on all at once! There was always the need for that last measure of light to see the whole picture in understanding my husband, the "man," the masculine image of God.
The Love and Respect lessons met this need...or better said, God used the teachings to reveal to me those final missing elements. All six lights were suddenly on, blazing and giving illumination and understanding to what my feeble mind could not come up with on its own power.
I now understood why I had not really been respecting Kurt as he needed to be respected. I had not been giving him the confidence that he needed, even though I had been standing on the sidelines cheering with all that was in me for years! I was cheering through a "pink megaphone."
He did not hear. It was not in his language... sigh.....
As I was up in Justin's room working out, I realized all that had been unveiled before me in those videos in our family room this past weekend. I wept... With joy, for what the teachings would do to change me from here on out... With sadness and grief, that I did not know this for the past 27 years. I thanked God for His grace to cover a multitude of sins committed unintentionally, and for His mercy to empower us with new life to begin anew time and time again!
I do not want to start laying out all of the principles and exciting revelations that this dedicated couple is teaching, because they are the messengers being used by God. I am just being a relay runner. I only hope that my witness for what has spoken to me will be the spark to make you go and see if it will be the light switch being turned on for you for the first time ever.
My sisters, your marriage to your man is only for this life. That relationship will not be...in Heaven. You and your mate became brother and sister in the Lord, when you were saved and adopted into the family of God, and He became your eternal Father. The way you are treating and respecting this man who lives with you is actually how you are treating a son of God Almighty. God, his Father, is watching you as you support or tear down this man. HE is watching you as you love or despise this man. HE is watching as you inspire him to move closer to Christ, or influence and push him to move away from Christ.
Whether you have been married 1 year, or 5 years, or 20 years, or 50.... way back when, that man began his journey as an adult male. He looked out and sought a woman, the "female" whom he wanted to walk beside him in his journey on this earth. The one that he hoped and prayed would be there for better or worse, having confidence in him, not in his performance, but for his heart, a heart that was willing to die for you.
You are that one. He chose you. How have you risen up to fulfill his dreams? Are you feeling like you are in some darkness? Are his faults and imperfections starting to color your original commitment and vows to your Lord to give your best, no matter what???
Did your mate ever promise you that he would be perfect? Did he ever claim to understand the feminine mystique and boast of great wisdom to become the excellent husband? More than likely not. Most likely, he is like all other "good-willed" men with a heart that wants peace in his life and home. He just wants your respect, and he only wants to love you, if somehow he could figure out how.
Over time, that moment at the altar fades, and the wonderment of love and awe and cherishing dulls with disappointments in expectations, and failed responsibilities.
My sisters, we are not so righteous that we can take less than 50% of the blame!
Just because you are the "loving and nurturing" half of the relationship does not excuse one ounce of your failures and shortcomings to meet, halfway, that wonderful man God made for YOU .
And while I'm on a roll, consider the role you are playing out in your sons' lives, especially if they have moved beyond pre-teen years. Are you starting to see and treat them like men? (yes, they are young, but they are MEN, already in the making.) Are you respecting them for their manhood, or are you still treating them like a boy who needs a mama?...Something to ponder.
What about your daughters? How might they react and respond to their future husbands based on your words and actions with your husband displayed before their watching eyes?
Maybe your sons and daughters are already married and you are anxious about their current marriage relationship. This may be just the answer!
I know you do not have the full picture of what was taught in this seminar. You may be sitting there already disagreeing with me. You may be saying to yourself right now... Boy, this girl's had a "mountaintop experience", and she's got that campfire song, Pass It On, ringing in her head. Well I wouldn't blame you if you were feeling somewhat skeptical right now.
But, if you ARE disagreeing, I encourage you to go click on the link. That's all I'm asking. Who knows? You may just have a 6-light bulb moment in your life like me. You may be unbelievably changed in your understanding of the "mysteries" that God has put in the other half of His perfect couple in the Beginning. And think of how you might go out and impact and influence the marriages of others! You could begin to see the ripples from God's Hand working out His grace through the changed lives of men and women who were hungering for His righteousness in their lives.
Wouldn't that make it worth everything? If you are searching for some light in your marriage relationship, please...pray and listen to the following message:
If I didn't believe that it could be the answer for some of you... believe me, I wouldn't be writing this today.
God wants you to walk by faith, even when marriage just doesn't make sense, even when you simply cannot "see," because some of the lights are off. Will you trust Him with your marriage? You did many years ago at the altar. Won't you continue to do so today? God's grace covers all that you will give to Him, and His blessings are abundant!!
I am thankful to David for pursuing knowledge, and starting ripples that are spreading. I intend to keep them going. :-)